What to Expect After the Funeral
After a funeral, grieving family members often ask us, "What happens next? Here's what happens after a funeral.
The Early Days after Loss
The funeral or memorial service is over. Things have begun to grow quiet; maybe the phone isn't ringing as much as it was, or fewer people are stopping by to check in on you. Your loved one's death continues to become more of a reality. And the very thought of facing your life over the next few weeks and months fills you both with loneliness and a sense of dread. It all feels like way too much to deal with, and we'd like you to know that right now it's okay to take care of yourself first.
You've got two important things to do in the coming weeks and months. As much as possible, you need to practice exquisite self-care. You also need to spend some time focused on completing the paperwork which will officially change the status of your loved one with banks and creditors; employers, insurance companies, and mortgage holders. This can be a slow process; so be prepared for the 'long haul'.
What is Your Relationship Status?
Let's be honest here; the degree to which your grief disempowers you, as well as the amount of flotsam and jetsam (let's just call it "paperwork") you will have to deal with both depend on the relationship you shared with the deceased. If you are the surviving spouse, a daughter or son, or have been declared as the designated executor, the responsibilities you have over the death paperwork will be much more extensive than if you were merely a loving niece, nephew or friend.
Here is a checklist of the tasks you may be facing in the coming weeks:
Get organized. Locate and safeguard as many of the documents listed below (be sure to put each into in a designated set of file folders, and keep them within easy reach):
Driver's License or State Identification Card
Passport (if applicable)
Divorce papers (if applicable)
Deeds and Titles to real and personal property
Veteran's Administration Claim Number (or service discharge papers)
Recent Income Tax Forms
W-2 forms (if employed)
Recent hospitalization records
Insurance documents: Life, Health, Automobile (there may be more than one policy in each category)
17 Things To Do After the Funeral
1. Before you do anything, get a notebook. You'll want to record the date and time of every phone conversation, email or postal communication; if you did it, write it down. Be sure to include the full name of the person you spoke to, their job title; and their employer identification or extension number.
2. Request certified copies of the Death Certificate. Speak with one of our funeral professionals to determine just how many you will require.
3. Check to see if deceased had left a will. This may require contacting the family attorney, checking your safe deposit box or home safe or the state Will Registry.
4. Get the mail redirected, if applicable. Visit the United States Postal Service website to learn more about how to submit a Change of Address form. Or stop by your local post office.
5. Stop health insurance coverage. You may need to provide them with additional information, so keep your relevant paperwork handy.
6. Contact employer or union. Determine if there are any death-related benefits available, ask (and answer) questions, and change any relevant contact information.
7. Make sure to pay the bills. Some folks have their bills paid automatically, but if this isn't the case here, you'll need to take care of them before they become delinquent. If you fear delinquency, you may wish to speak with a representative to work out a payment plan.
8. Initiate probate. Even if you're not the executor, if you have an interest in the estate, it's possible for you initiate probate court proceedings (but only if the designated executor of the estate fails to do so in a timely way). You may want to find and hire an estate settlement attorney.
9. Notify utility departments. Depending on the situation, the accounts may be closed, or the account owner's name and contact details changed.
10. Transfer title of real and personal property. Whether it's an automobile, boat, motorcycle, RV, or plane; you'll need to inform your state department of motor vehicles of the change in ownership. At the very same time, notify any related vehicular or personal property insurance companies of the change in status.
11. Close or modify credit card accounts. You will probably need to provide each of them with a certified copy of the death certificate. Again, keep that set of file folders handy.
12. Contact life insurance companies. Not everyone has life insurance; but some people have more than one policy. No matter how many policies were in force, you will probably need to provide each of them with a certified copy of the death certificate for each claim made.
13. Notify other policy holders of the change in "Beneficiary" status. If your loved one was a designated beneficiary on the insurance policies; investment or banking accounts of other individuals, then you'll need to notify them of the death of a beneficiary.
14. Arrange to close or modify bank accounts. Depending on your relationship to the deceased, you may be entitled to convert into your name.
15. Change stocks and bonds into your name. Again, this depends on your relationship status to the deceased. To do this, you'll need to provide certified copy of the death certificate to all organizations involved.
16. Report the death to other agencies. Depending on the age or military status of the deceased, you may need to notify either the Social Security Administration or the Veterans Administration (or both). Other agencies of interest include membership organizations (professional or avocational associations, Masonic lodges, Rotary Clubs, gym and golf course memberships –just to name a few).
17. Tend to their digital estate. If they were active on social media, you'll need to inform the specific networking sites of the change in status. You will need to close email accounts as well as any online banking portal or investment accounts.
Do You Have Any Questions?
We've had the privilege of serving many families over the years, and during that time we've found that the time after the funeral is different for everyone involved. If we can be of assistance to you during this challenging time of change and adjustment, simply pick up the phone and call us at (718) 331-8000. We'll do our very best to support you.