Obituaries

Antoinette Laboccetta
D: 2017-05-25
View Details
Laboccetta, Antoinette
Linda D'Esposito
D: 2017-05-24
View Details
D'Esposito, Linda
Peter Giannakouros
B: 1945-09-08
D: 2017-05-23
View Details
Giannakouros, Peter
Lena Magno
B: 1921-10-29
D: 2017-05-21
View Details
Magno, Lena
Miriam Maldonado
B: 1946-05-12
D: 2017-05-21
View Details
Maldonado, Miriam
Marie Bruno
B: 1919-12-20
D: 2017-05-20
View Details
Bruno, Marie
Irene Kefalas
B: 1927-11-22
D: 2017-05-16
View Details
Kefalas, Irene
Kathleen Marchetti
B: 1950-08-05
D: 2017-05-15
View Details
Marchetti, Kathleen
Michael Rispoli
B: 1936-03-01
D: 2017-05-12
View Details
Rispoli, Michael
Salvatore Cirnigliaro
B: 1978-06-26
D: 2017-05-12
View Details
Cirnigliaro, Salvatore
Joseph Garzillo
B: 1933-08-31
D: 2017-05-10
View Details
Garzillo, Joseph
Phyllis Rizzuto
B: 1987-11-24
D: 2017-05-08
View Details
Rizzuto, Phyllis
Joseph Faretra
B: 1926-02-23
D: 2017-05-04
View Details
Faretra, Joseph
Anna Hoey
B: 1948-10-24
D: 2017-05-03
View Details
Hoey, Anna
Michael Lewis
B: 1942-04-28
D: 2017-04-28
View Details
Lewis, Michael
Kevin Reilly
B: 2008-12-26
D: 2017-04-27
View Details
Reilly, Kevin
Salvatore Intravaia
B: 1967-09-24
D: 2017-04-24
View Details
Intravaia, Salvatore
Assuntina Sorrentino
B: 1938-11-27
D: 2017-04-22
View Details
Sorrentino, Assuntina
Tommaso Gioeli
B: 1935-01-01
D: 2017-04-20
View Details
Gioeli, Tommaso
Paula Jacobson
B: 1946-09-13
D: 2017-04-12
View Details
Jacobson, Paula
Kathleen Rafferty
B: 1948-09-20
D: 2017-04-11
View Details
Rafferty, Kathleen

Search

Use the form above to find your loved one. You can search using the name of your loved one, or any family name for current or past services entrusted to our firm.

Click here to view all obituaries
Search Obituaries
1401 86th Street
Brooklyn, NY 11228
Phone: (718) 331-8000
Fax: 718-621-9713

Funeral Etiquette

Also known as social graces, the rules of etiquette ease us through challenging social situations. Most of us know how to behave in common circumstances but unless you've been to a lot of funerals, you may not know the rules of proper behavior in this often uncomfortable social situation.

The Basics of Funeral Etiquette

Emily Post once said, "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others." Much of what we know today about etiquette comes from this woman, who published her first book of etiquette in 1922. When you use those words as your guide, the rules of funeral etiquette become easier to understand.

What to Wear

Tradition has always required a certain level of formality in dressing for a funeral. However, today's end-of-life services are so varied – ranging from the traditional funeral to the often more relaxed celebration-of-life – that it's challenging to know exactly what's expected of you.

The advisors on the Emily Post website tell readers that "attire isn't limited to just black or dark gray. Remember, though, that it is a serious occasion and your attire should reflect that, especially if you are participating in the service. At the very least it should be clean, neat, and pressed as for any other important occasion."

What to Say

No one expects you to say more than a few words and bereaved family members are often unable to give you their full attention anyway. So, keep it short and make it sincere.

"I'm so very sorry for your loss" may work very well. If you have time to add to those seven words, you might want to share a personal story about a time you shared with the deceased. But, watch closely for signs that your audience needs to move on to receive condolences from other funeral guests.

When speaking to other funeral guests, speak quietly. This is not a time to discuss business or share stories about your recent vacation. Instead, focus on sharing and listening to stories of times spent with the deceased.

What to Do

If you're unsure about what actions to take when being led by a pastor or celebrant, simply follow along. If you're not comfortable, don't draw attention to your unwillingness to participate. Be discrete and respectful of others.

Always leave your cell phone in the car or at the very least, turn it to vibrate mode or turn it off.

How to Handle the Visitation

A visitation, or viewing, is a time prior to the funeral where guests are invited to view the casketed body of the deceased. While it is customary to show your respects to the deceased by stepping up to the casket, you may not feel comfortable doing so. That's perfectly alright; no one wants you to be unnerved by the experience, so focus your attention instead on providing comfort to the bereaved family.

After the Funeral

If the deceased is to be buried following the service, the funeral officiant will announce the location of the interment. If the cemetery is not located on the grounds of the funeral home, there will be a processional of cars formed to escort the hearse to the cemetery. Unless they have chosen to have a private burial, those in attendance are welcome to join in the procession however, don't feel obligated to do so. You may simply leave the funeral at that time.

The Funeral Reception

Many families today hold a post-funeral gathering where food and refreshments are served. While this is a time to share memories, laughter, and even tears, your behavior at a funeral reception needs to remain respectful. 

Follow-up with Kindness

If you've not already done so, this is a good time to send the family a sympathy note or card. About a week after the funeral, pick up the phone to check in with them to see if there's anything they need.

"Good manners," wrote Emily Post, "reflect something from inside – an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self." We think that just about sums it up; no matter the situation – wedding, baptism, dinner party or cocktails with friends – her observations about good manners (when followed) will serve us all well.

Sources:
www.emilypost.com